In any (multi-volume) compilation of ‘Great American success stories’, Hallmark cards would surely garner a paragraph or two. Perhaps even more. They are something of a North American phenomenon. Though the Internet has dramatically altered the way the current generation sends invites, birthday cards, thank yous, post cards, get-well notes, and so forth, a little place for the traditional snail-mail greeting card still exists. They also tend to make an appearance with birthday and Christmas gifts, and other such gift-giving situations.
The birth of my sweet little daughter recently brought a minor flood of these personal greeting cards, much to my surprise (because myself, I only ever send emails these days…). I deeply appreciated every one of them. But please forgive me if I admit that I didn’t bother to read the pre-written caption (but I certainly read any written notes that were added in).
Interestingly, the idea of purchasing and sending pre-written heartfelt sentiments of the sort that Hallmark has demonstrated an absolute mastery of, never really took off on the European continent in quite the same manner. For many, the thought of sending a pre-written greeting is unfathomable. Which is not to say that they don’t appreciate them for what they are – namely a way of saying ‘I’m thinking of you’. But North American’s are shameless in this pursuit – even sometimes spending a disproportionate amount of time seeking out the card with just the right caption to express the emotion they wish to convey.
Receiving this small stack of cards from friends, family and colleagues recently got me thinking about how willingly and frequently I am willing, able, and comfortable with expressing heartfelt emotions to the people that matter to me, in one way or another.
I’m not necessarily talking about mother love here, just telling people, even those with an apparently minor role in my life, when they have had a notable impact, in one respect or another. I’m certainly not talking about a painful expression of emotion inevitably resulting a tears being shed. Just something that is intentionally a little more personal and heartfelt.
There are situations when it is socially acceptable to express such emotions.
After a good number of beers would be one of them (though bringing up the subject the morning after really is not). Wedding speeches are another outlet for expressions of pent-up emotion and gratitude, and to a lesser extent birthday speeches and graduations as well. The raw and unfiltered emotion that emerges during these occasions has certainly left more than a few in the audience cringing, if not running for cover (and I readily admit I have been one of these in plenty of instances). See, those who choose to bottle their emotions, most of the time, tend to discover eventually that they do find a way bubble out, seemingly involuntarily, sooner or later.
North America suffers intensely from the affliction of voluntarily and involuntarily enforced political correctness, combined with the hypersensitivity of the mainstream media, which loves to point out these instances, often with an unrelenting glare. Political correctness goes hand-in-hand with ‘socially acceptable behaviour’. There is also something a blame culture, of which countless frivolous lawsuits are one side-affect. And all of these factors when combined serve to cause people to choose to repress emotional expression.
In truth, the numerous side-affects associated directly and indirectly with these issues are difficult to quantify and measure. I’m convinced that the popularity of greeting cards is one of them. Allow me to explain.
The more one side-steps direct responsibility, in one way or another, the more difficult it becomes to simply be a direct and personal person. And not only is through being direct and personal the way that most of the best decisions are made, and difficult issues are resolved, it is also how the most passion and fun gets added to everyday life.
To demonstrate what I mean, try sticking yourself in the middle of a conversation with a group of people who refuse to be caught voicing any direct opinion that is their own. This typically happens on a daily basis at countless office places around the globe. Do this, and you’ll experience one of those soul-sapping moments that are, unfortunately, something that modern day living often throws at us – and appears (falsely) to demand of us. Many are so adept at behaving in this manner that they fail to even realise the degree to which they have insulated themselves from thinking their own thoughts and following their own instincts.
Because the more impersonal communication is, the less of a chance there is to inadvertently say something that could be considered politically incorrect, of which you could be directly blamed for. That is, socially accepted behaviour often seems to demand acting as dispassionately disengaged as possible, even if it is quite painful to bear – for yourself and for those around you.
My suggestion: don’t try to dull the sharp edge(s) of life. If you catch yourself doing this, stop and ask yourself why you are doing this. Then attack the situation personally. Engage. Directly. Don’t be afraid to provoke. Stand up and take responsibility – with caring and compassion.
And try to avoid sending Hallmark greeting cards. Instead, buy a blank card, and write a something sincere – even it is only a single sentence about the situation in question. Write more if you wish. Don’t hold back. Even 5 words will do, but of course the more the better (because less is not always more, whatever you are told). Then mail the card with a satisfied smile on your face.
