It’s not necessarilly only about stability, because there are a couple of distinct things that large corporations offer, which is the chance to be involved in a certain type of strategic thinking, and the sorts of large scale projects that large corporations are ideally suited to undertake. This is a powerful draw, since there are loads of fascinating projects that fit this bill.

There is also the third type, whom I will refer to as the unemployed corporate schmuck. You may well have been one of those at some point.

Unemployed corporate schmuck’s are those who know that they will not be satisfied until they are safely back within the walls of a stable employer. They may have occasional entrepreneur fantasies, but deep down they crave the status that having a stable employer brings (”ie. He’s a responsible family-man with a solid 9-5 job”).

And let’s face it – until you’ve established a successful business, there are plenty out there who will discreetly or indiscreetly poo-poo your independant ambitions at every corner. If your heart isn’t completely into the entrepreneurial lifestyle, you probably won’t be able to derive sufficient satisfaction from the process of turning your own ideas into reality in this way. For such people, the ’poo-pooing’ of others resonates quite strong and ’negatively’ in the sense that it causes those being questioned to quickly confront your own uncertainty regarding any potential entrepreneurial path – and generally reject it.

Freedom

Contrary to popular belief, there is room for independent thought within corporations – you just have to be clear where the limits are, what you yourself are comfortable accepting, and when to get out.

Probably the most strongly negative issues associated with the large corporation is the image of a bunch of desk jockeys living in a cubicle farm – tied to the office hour after hour. For many jobs, this is a legitimate issues, but similarly there are just as many jobs that don’t have these characteristics.

The limits of being a corporate schmuck

Corporations can never provide you with blank-cheque security. Security is only something that  you can create in your own mind. A sense that no matter what happens, everything will be alright, and anyway its all for the better, even if it seems unlikely that this is the entirely case from time to time.

Even the most dedicated employer, working on the most profitable and important of projects will never gain this level of security from their employer. Security is a feeling – a conviction – that we each must create it ourselves. It is the confidence to know that as we create our own reality anyway, we can always safely navigate the unexpected twists and turns we are faced.

And you will never have full independent freedom – there will always be somebody above you looking ’down’. Of course, many would argue the same is true in an entrepreneurial setting, where there can be customers and investors and others who can have a strong influence.

I consider myself a short-term corporate schmuck, but the bottom-line is that until my behaviour goes in another direction (entrepreneurial), whatever adjective I wish to put in front of it, I remain a corporate schmuck. I admit it.

When I accepted my current corporate gig, there was a little voice inside of me nudging me to do it, telling me that though I knew deep down in my heart that I was an entrepreneur, and that this would ultimately be my future path, there was a kind of deep understanding that I also needed to experience that would be gained by taking the corporate path for the time being. It wasn’t entirely clear what this experience would be, but I had an idea it was out there waiting for me.

It wasn’t so much experience in the sense of direct professional knowledge garnered from my work, though the potential high relevance of this is not entirely lost on me either. Rather, it was a more general sort of ’life’ knowledge that I believe was just as important. The feeling of being tied to the office routine, along with the knowledge of how it is to work in an organisation, to communicate, the knowledge of how a certain type of big business works on the inside. The way decisions were made, and the knowledge of what could be possible and what was difficult to accomplish within the boundaries of a corporate set-up. Because this knowledge can be used to limitless benefit in an entrepreurial setting, and in general, it is valuable.

You could call it a kind of conscious growth experience.

But allow me to now discuss the corporate schmuck-by-nature personality type.

When to accept you are a corporate schmuck…

Although it is trendy to smash and bash corporations in the blogosphere – particularly within the personal development world, it must be acknowledged that corporations carry out the vast majority of projects upon which the technology and infrastructure that we depend upon to live our lives as we do are created and built. That is an enormous statement and a degree of truth worthy of acknowledging and accepting.

Idealise as we do about a world without large corporations (and I do this quite regularly), the truth is I probably wouldn’t be too satisfied with what it looked like. But what is the personal consequence of this sort of thinking

Well….

When I think about my own wanderings and my own contributions to the world I love to experience, I admit to having had a guilty feeling, from time to time, that I was not doing enough to keep my end of the ’enjoyment of life’ bargain. That is, I was serious consumer of all kinds of stuff, but what was I giving back? What did I create? It’s a tough question to answer, and a tough judgment to make.

The creation and undertaking of most large-scale projects requires vast numbers of people.

Think about the bridge that spans the river (such as the Oresund bridge and tunnel just out of eyesight from where I live connected Denmark and Sweden together). I’m pretty happy that it was built, but I’m pretty glad that I didn’t have anything to do with the actual building process.

The list of examples goes on and on. The food we eat, the roads we drive on, countless technology (GPS systems, mobile phones, computers, Internet, desks and furniture, clothing, and on and on). It didn’t just built itself. Furthermore, the best of it took some pretty talented people with clear ambitions and visions to turn into reality. It wasn’t just faceless corporations, even though it is often them who end up with their stamp on the final outcomes (and a large chunk of the profits in their bank accounts).

So let’s be clear: if you are the sort who envisions BIG – really BIG – then the corporate world may well be the right place for you. In fact, it may well be the only place for you.

There are certain kinds of projects which are only accomplished thanks to a corporate structure that enables them. I am the first to complain when this same corporate structure litterally fucks it up – by creating lousy buildings, inadequate roads, crappy unimaginitive computers and software, and mobile phones that don’t have the functionality I really want, low-quality, uninspired clothing, and on and on.

And we haven’t even touched the issue of pollution and social awareness, of which many corporations have an appalling record.

Yet, it must be acknowledged that sometimes – not always – this structure and all the compromises it entails is nonetheless the only realistic way to realise many project.

It would be wonderful if we could all just work together as a coalition of small, highly motivated, self-owned entrepreneurial firms on even the largest of projects. The reality is this is not always the most efficient, and moreover, in many instances it just doesn’t produce the necessary results.

So if you sense that you have a purpose that is best filled by being a part of a structure that is in many senses much larger than yourself, don’t apologise if the anti-corporate crusaders start questioning your motives. But be sure you are conscious about what you are doing, because within the coporate walls, it is all too easy not to be.

A conversation the other day brought a flash of revelation – I will always reach for another ‘why?’. My girlfriend and I were talking about illness, owing to a tough medical diagnosis a member of her extended family had recently received.

Typically, I find myself in a difficult position when the conversation shifts to such medical issues, owing to my firm belief that all illnesses and afflictions are merely symptoms of a some sort of unresolved inner turmoil, driven into reality by conflicting beliefs and an unwillingness to follow the messages being sent by your soul, which may or may not know best, but certainly knows what is driving you, at the deepest level. And in this way, your soul knows better than anyone when you are willfully putting yourself on the wrong track. That is, when you are pitting your outer beliefs – your ‘human’ ones – against your own inner beliefs.

It can be hard to accept a gift you don’t really want

In my view, illnesses are more productively viewed as gifts – messages of love from your soul, telling you clearly that you are not on the right track, and offering a metaphorical explaination of how and why, and what you need to do to get back to where you really want to be.  Unfortunately, this is not something that many people want to hear. Many react rather emotionally to this kind of suggestion, looking in every direction for the answers, except the most obvious place to look. They are offended – often highly offended – that somebody could have the gall to conceptualise illnesses, even grave ones, as ‘gifts’.

So back to the situation I began discussing at the outset.

I happened to be reading a book, written by someone who I thought would be an ideal person for this family member with the tough diagnosis to talk to. As I am no believer in coincidences, this realization was good enough for me to begin questioning whether it was my place to suggest a contact to the author. To be clear, I’m not a person who believes in butting in to other people’s business. And I’m pretty clear in the understanding that solutions to problems – such as illness – cannot be forced upon people. They must decide they would like to find them, and when they do the information they need to heal themselves will make itself available to them. That is, you’ll be extremely lucky if you can even metaphorically lead the horse to water – much less convince him to drink. But if he decides he wants to drink, at the deepest healing level, then the water will literally appear in front of him – or rather closeby at least.

If you’re interested the book in question is ‘New Chakra Healing’ by Cyndi Dale.

My girlfriend responded, saying something along the lines of, “yes, but you just started reading the book the other day, and you’re only half way through! How can so suddenly be sure that this is somebody that has the answers needed. And besides, if he/she were interested in alternative treatment, there is loads of it out there that they could investigate and try.”

And these are fair enough comments.

However, for many years now I have relied on intuition when faced with a difficult choice, or a situation seemingly with an overwhelming number of possibilities. On the whole, this intuition has been a fantastic ally. Admittedly, I sometimes rationalize – over rationalize – choices up and down and all around. But in the end, my intuition always seems to get the last laugh …and last say in the matter in question.

My intuition in this case was telling me that this is somebody that could and would help, if help was requested. Nothing more, nothing less. Was she the the only person who could help? Of course not! The answers are always out there in many forms, from many sources, if you are open to finding, receiving (and ultimately absorbing) them.

On the other hand, I know full well that you can’t force help on anybody. You can suggest it in a friendly way, lay out a clear path for them to follow if they want to find it, but that’s about it. If the person who could benefit from the help available is open to it, then they may choose to accept the offer. If not, there’s not much to do.

Which brings me back to the thought expressed in the title of this article, the one about constantly reaching for ‘whys’.

A searching determination

There are those, like myself, who search for answers to the varous issues that have entered their conscious simply because these issues inevitably take the form of unresolved or unanswered questions, and quite simply, questions are meant to be answered.

When you consciously search for answers, you will consciously receive the answers, in one form or another. But answers are never an end in themselves. Even the most satisfying answers eventually lead to more questions – that is, more ‘whys’. Always.

I believe that in their hearts, most people are precisely the same sorts of ‘why?’ people, as I am. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, many have trained themselves to stop asking ‘why?’ on a seemingly endless loop, and instead settle with an earlier answers they have received, perhaps to a similar but lower level question, regardless of whether they are entirely satisfying answers or not. Or perhaps they have simply given up having never really found a satisfactory answer. Or perhaps the answer they found just didn’t sit well with them.

It’s an understandable way of thinking because it is practical – if the ability to ask ‘why?’ is limitless, then why bother to continue asking? Why not just take the easy way out? The questions are countless, as are the answers. A faster solution, which may seem the easiest, is to simply send back a (metaphorical) message akin to, ‘Sorry, hard disk full. No more space available. Therefore, unable to process question at this time.’

But the truth is that it never really is. There is always room for more.

But my intention is clear: this is permanent. I have put myself in the driver’s seat, kicked out the co-pilot chair, and I have taken control. Full control. It’s up to me.

It’s as easy or as difficult as I make it. And I can tell I’m making it easy. It’s easy because there is no alternative. Of course, there never really was. We are always in the driver’s seat in life, it’s just a question of to what degree we accept this.

I’ve done a lot of preparation to prepare myself for this. I’ve explored a pile of ideas over the past months at a depth that I have never tried before. I’ve explored business ideas, personal projects with no obvious source of income but plenty of potential for fun. I’ve explored personal development with an openness that I never realized I was capable of, and I’ve opened up all kinds of connections that I knew where there and possible, but that I have shied unnecessarily away from for a long time. It’s refreshing, and it is only the beginning.

I’ve chosen to label this blog as ‘Caring and Compassion’ owing to some fresh input I sought and received, and which I’ve chosen to accept. This is one of the ways I’m accepting it.

It is a pretty challenging tag to start out from, because it really is the first time I’ve consciously set out to take this particular approach

It’s the frame around which I am putting any and every issue I choose to tackle in to. It implies taking a degree of responsibility, not just putting information out there, talking for the sake of talking (or writing for the sake of writing), but actually consciously framing issues in the way I believe is most meaningful.

It’s not about assigning blame, pointing fingers, or preaching. It is, in short, the most personal approach to tackling issues, as I see it. It’s taking responsibility for what I choose to create and experience.

The thinking goes like this:

If you are able to accept that you are responsible for what you create and experience, then why wouldn’t you want to be deeply caring and compassionate in creating these experiences and experiencing them?

This is really something that has taken me quite some time to understand.

When the challenge of trying to view my life through the lens of caring and compassion was placed in front of me, I was taken somewhat aback. First of all, I couldn’t help but think in terms of charity. And charity, I must admit, is something that I’ve never been terribly good at because I’ve always felt that I was giving to much of my potential power away by thinking in strictly charitable terms.

Because charity can be both empowering and disempowering, depending upon how it is conducted. Oftentimes, it is disempowering. It goes back to the old adage, ‘give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he will be able to feed himself for the rest of his life’. The second idea resonates with caring and compassion, the first doesn’t quite cut it for me.

It has consequently taken me a while to realign the idea of caring and compassion as the central aspect of my existence, knowing that it couldn’t simply mean charity in the sense I couldn’t relate to. And it finally dawned on me how to do this.

Caring and compassion is simply a way of creating your experiences. It is a way of choosing what you attract in your life. To do this in a caring and compassionate manner has nothing to do with charity, or giving away your power or asking other people to give away theirs.

Instead, it has to do with the way you present yourself to the world, and the way the world presents itself to you. For me, it’s quite a revelation. I simply can’t imagine anything more desirable that resonating with caring and compassion in this manner. Nothing could be more empowing.

The birth of my sweet little daughter recently brought a minor flood of these personal greeting cards, much to my surprise (because myself, I only ever send emails these days…). I deeply appreciated every one of them. But please forgive me if I admit that I didn’t bother to read the pre-written caption (but I certainly read any written notes that were added in).

Interestingly, the idea of purchasing and sending pre-written heartfelt sentiments of the sort that Hallmark has demonstrated an absolute mastery of, never really took off on the European continent in quite the same manner. For many, the thought of sending a pre-written greeting is unfathomable. Which is not to say that they don’t appreciate them for what they are – namely a way of saying ‘I’m thinking of you’. But North American’s are shameless in this pursuit – even sometimes spending a disproportionate amount of time seeking out the card with just the right caption to express the emotion they wish to convey.

Receiving this small stack of cards from friends, family and colleagues recently got me thinking about how willingly and frequently I am willing, able, and comfortable with expressing heartfelt emotions to the people that matter to me, in one way or another.

I’m not necessarily talking about mother love here, just telling people, even those with an apparently minor role in my life, when they have had a notable impact, in one respect or another. I’m certainly not talking about a painful expression of emotion inevitably resulting a tears being shed. Just something that is intentionally a little more personal and heartfelt.

There are situations when it is socially acceptable to express such emotions.

After a good number of beers would be one of them (though bringing up the subject the morning after really is not). Wedding speeches are another outlet for expressions of pent-up emotion and gratitude, and to a lesser extent birthday speeches and graduations as well. The raw and unfiltered emotion that emerges during these occasions has certainly left more than a few in the audience cringing, if not running for cover (and I readily admit I have been one of these in plenty of instances). See, those who choose to bottle their emotions, most of the time, tend to discover eventually that they do find a way bubble out, seemingly involuntarily, sooner or later.

North America suffers intensely from the affliction of voluntarily and involuntarily enforced political correctness, combined with the hypersensitivity of the mainstream media, which loves to point out these instances, often with an unrelenting glare. Political correctness goes hand-in-hand with ‘socially acceptable behaviour’. There is also something a blame culture, of which countless frivolous lawsuits are one side-affect. And all of these factors when combined serve to cause people to choose to repress emotional expression.

In truth, the numerous side-affects associated directly and indirectly with these issues are difficult to quantify and measure. I’m convinced that the popularity of greeting cards is one of them. Allow me to explain.

The more one side-steps direct responsibility, in one way or another, the more difficult it becomes to simply be a direct and personal person. And not only is through being direct and personal the way that most of the best decisions are made, and difficult issues are resolved, it is also how the most passion and fun gets added to everyday life.

To demonstrate what I mean, try sticking yourself in the middle of a conversation with a group of people who refuse to be caught voicing any direct opinion that is their own. This typically happens on a daily basis at countless office places around the globe. Do this, and you’ll experience one of those soul-sapping moments that are, unfortunately, something that modern day living often throws at us – and appears (falsely) to demand of us. Many are so adept at behaving in this manner that they fail to even realise the degree to which they have insulated themselves from thinking their own thoughts and following their own instincts.

Because the more impersonal communication is, the less of a chance there is to inadvertently say something that could be considered politically incorrect, of which you could be directly blamed for. That is, socially accepted behaviour often seems to demand acting as dispassionately disengaged as possible, even if it is quite painful to bear – for yourself and for those around you.

My suggestion: don’t try to dull the sharp edge(s) of life. If you catch yourself doing this, stop and ask yourself why you are doing this. Then attack the situation personally. Engage. Directly. Don’t be afraid to provoke. Stand up and take responsibility – with caring and compassion.

And try to avoid sending Hallmark greeting cards. Instead, buy a blank card, and write a something sincere – even it is only a single sentence about the situation in question. Write more if you wish. Don’t hold back. Even 5 words will do, but of course the more the better (because less is not always more, whatever you are told). Then mail the card with a satisfied smile on your face.

By it’s very nature, to gossip is to turn your worldview not quite outwards (generally a good thing) but rather sideways. This makes it possible to comment and critisise from an angle where comments are relatively – though not necessarily entirely – depersonalised, since they are not generally directly about you (as the gossiper) or about anybody in the room (at least not anybody who is listening). And this in turn makes the chance that gossip will immediately slingshot or ricochet back and hit you relatively low. Not impossible, just more unlikely. We’ll come back to this point shortly.

Through gossip, one has the possibility to express a viewpoint in an indirect manner, without appearing to actively commit to it, or for that matter even clearly express what this viewpoint really is and what it means. This is why gossip – whether about colleagues not present, or about famous personalities, politicians, and so forth, makes such great lunchtime conversation in office cafeterias around the world. You can go away from such a conversation being none the wiser about the true feelings and opinions of those involved.

Through the use of gossip, it is possible to create a sort of contradictory state, where one can even appear to be highly opinionated, without actually expressing much of a concrete opinion at all.

For all of these reasons, it can be rather hard to pin somebody down for having one viewpoint or another when they are limiting themselves to gossip. This is the reason why gossipy conversation can be protracted, charged with a particular sort of emotion, and yet so incredibly superficial at the same time.

Of course, it doesn’t have to be like this. Gossip can also serve – and often do – as a point of entry into a much deeper, personal and emotional discussion. We’ll also return to this point shortly. First, let’s further consider the nature of gossip.

Implications …and backpedalling
Gossip often hinges around ‘implications’ – implied opinions.

By commenting on a situation, one is implying – sometime explicitly – a level of either agreement or disagreement. While it is possible to extrapolate that this approval or disapproval represents the wider viewpoint of the gossiper regarding the issue in question, this may or may not be the case. Caveat emptor – buyer beware, you could say!

So it’s pretty easy to hide behind gossip. By using a situation or statements of someone else to imply a deeper level of agreement or disagreement, one avoids having to make any (obvious) value statement of judgement of their own. One need not involve their own actions and life experiences in the conversation – even if the gossip in question involves some people and events that may well seem outrageous, unbelievable, strange, unlikely or otherwise. Because of this, backpedalling is always possible, should anyone attempt to call a gossiper out regarding any opinion they many have implied. In such a situation, the gossiper can then either proclaim their opinion to be limited to this specific person and/or situation in question, or they can simply deny that this is what they were implying. And when such challenges are made, it is my experience that such backpedalling does happen.

Hiding quietly behind gossip
This manner of hiding behind gossip can also be seen in a more subtle method, which we have all been guilty of at one time or another. This is the case where a situation is brought up in an open-ended though entirely intentional way, in order to first gage the reaction to it from those around us.

Only after this reaction has occurred, do we express an opinion of our own and commit to our own particular position on the matter. And let’s face it, in one way or another, it is quite common to tailor this opinion we offer to match the crowd around us, whether that is simply by choosing not to reveal our true feelings, or simply by adjusting the very opinion we reveal, so it will or won’t cause, depending upon whether we feel like being provocative, or sitting on our hands quietly.

Which brings us back to the essence of gossip.

Is gossip wrong?
Does all of the above imply that gossip is wrong? No, not necessarily. That’s not really the point. As I mentioned earlier, gossip can serve as an effective entry point into a deep, meaningful, and highly personal conversation that is both interesting and revealing.

The trick is to be aware of the addictive nature of gossip as a means to communicate impersonally – and as a means for abdicating responsibility. If you never flesh out your own opinions and then stand behind them – and this is not at all to say that you shouldn’t be open-minded and respect the viewpoints of others and be influened by strong, compelling arguments – then are you really taking full responsibility? In particular, a pertinent question if whether the people you are surrounding yourself with on a daily basis really the ones best suited to helping you match your work and friendships with a higher purpose in life. Are you really on the clearest path to matching and fulfilling your highest purpose, if you sit idly, never offering an opinion that really comes from the heart?

Here’s a simple trick for doing this.

Think about recent situations when you have been engaged in gossip, for one reason or another. Is there a pattern, for example, certain moments when you are most likely to be involved in gossiping? Perhaps it is with friends. Perhaps it is while sitting in the office. Or while eating lunch each day.

When you think about these situations, can you see a pattern where you can go day after day, even week after week, without meaningfully committing to opinions of your own? Do the people with whom you are regularly engaged in the gossip ones who you would say really know the real you? Do you really know them? Do you find yourself thinking back on conversations, and thinking ‘hmmm, did I really say that?’ or ‘did I really agree with that?’, or ‘I wonder what so and so really meant by that?’.

Are you satisfied with the level of interaction of these conversations? Are you taking a satisfying degree of responsibility in relation to the activities connected to these relationships, or are you giving it away?

If the answer is ‘no’, it may be worth considering whether or not the relationship involved are really one that are serving the highest purpose in your life, or if they are really just a kind of clutter that is largely an inefficient use of time, in the bigger picture. Naturally, not everybody in your life will be somebody with whom you have a deep, direct engagement.

I’ve come to realise over the years, that most of my best friends are extremely bad at gossiping – that is, they don’t really gossip about others, or know how to. I tend to be bemused by those with a proclivity for gossip – but I become extremely guarded about my own opinions around them.

Confidence
Being in the presence of somebody who really doesn’t gossip requires quite a significant level of personal confidence. Self-confidence. It’s a realisation that came to me quite suddenly, when I was thinking about why I was more or less comfortable around various people – especially ones who I interacted with for one reason or another on a regular basis.

It makes sense, when you stop and think about it.

When you don’t have gossip to fall back upon, you have to pretty quickly learn to state and stand up for your own opinions. To consistently do this requires self-confidence. Without this, it is difficult to consistently be clear and confident about your feelings and beliefs. Even when you are not sure of how you feel about something, you have to have the confidence to acknowledge exactly this – even if you are the only one in the room to do so, rather than simply trying to metaphorically sneak out the back door either by quietly agreeing, or by simply not saying anything at all.

For those lacking confidence, gossip is a great escape hatch since the conversation is so depersonalised.

When you start a conversation that is entirely dependent upon you expressing own experiences and feelings, the ground is far more solid. Though certainly not impossible, it is just a little more difficult to slip and slide from one opinion to another when the situation is personal, and it has been clearly laid it out for all to see and examine – and comment on!

This doesn’t mean that removing yourself from these situations is necessarily the best response. Could you take a more opinionated stand from time to time, thereby challenging others to do the same? If you don’t consider it worthwhile doing, you again have to question whether the greater situation is truly contributing to your higher purpose, or if it is just getting in the way of finding the path towards it.

Highly productive people don’t complete very many projects. They tend to have plenty of them running, but only a very few ever end in a proper conclusion. The ones that get completed tend to be high potential projects with a clearly beneficial outcome. Yet the vast majority just seem to disappear into the ether, never to be heard about again. And this is hardly a bad thing.

Why?

Projects are incredibly easy to open. You can easily create a project every day, even every hour. It’s not difficult. There are plenty of ways to do so – you can buy a book or two, start planning a new website or webshop, fill-in a registration form to start a new business, sign up for courses to learn something new, and so on. If you are in a company, you can schedule meetings, create project teams, even go as far as hiring extra people who will carry forward the project.

But none of this is an assurance that a given project is a good idea, and will succeed. Furthermore, none of this is an assurance that there isn’t a better idea out there that could be a better fit and a better use of time and resources.

And it is for these reasons, among others, that completing projects is so damn difficult – and time consuming.

It’s one thing to create a project brief or hold a project ‘kick-off’ meeing – scribble down a few ideas on a piece of paper. It’s quite another thing to make a bunch of decisions based on these ideas, and then put them into action. After all, projects often tend to involve groups of people – not just yourself. This means coordination is necessary, including making sure everyone agrees on priorities, and continues to agree on priorities as things progress, which is inevitably time-consuming – and oftentimes outright impossible. Sometimes heavy-handed decisions need to be taken. Other times projects have to be allowed to die owing to the impossibility of reaching necessary agreements.

Unproductive people
Here’s another observation. Unproductive people tend to be those that are very uncomfortable having open-ended projects that are not possible to complete. It’s a kind of reverse logic.

See, unproductive people are often unproductive precisely because they are unable to let go of projects that are no longer worth their time. I cannot count how many projects I have seen people dump incredibly amounts of time and energy (and sometimes money) into, simply because they cannot let go of an idea they once believed in. Once they have started something, they just feel they have to finish it. For them, to let go would not only be an admission of defeat, but would mean their efforts had gone to waste.

Unfortunately, to waste any further effort on a project once it becomes clear that is not going to have a terribly effective outcome is the biggest waste of all. It ensures the prolonged unproductivity of such people, in spite of their high level of project completion.

None of this is to say that there aren’t some projects that are demanding, time consuming, difficult to succeed with, and yet incredibly worthwhile all the same. But being selective is key.

The 80/20 rule
Keeping the 80/20 rule in mind is a good way to get over this mindset.

The 80/20 rule is pretty simple. It basically says you’ll spend 80% of your time on 20% of your work. It can be interpreted in countless other ways, and therefore applies in countless situations, and has a wide variety of usages and variations.

For example, in a project context, it means that 20% of your projects will take up 80% of your time (and vice versa). It also means can be interpreted to mean that the final 20% of any project will in fact take 80% of the time (and resources) needed for success. It can also mean that 20% of your projects will be highly successful, the other 80% far less so. And so on.

The important point is that if you want to be productive, you need to make sure that the projects demanding 80% of your time are the ones likely to have the most impact – that best outcome and chance of success. So you need to be selective about the 20% that get this extra focus of attention – and mercilessly dump the rest.

It’s a pretty important factor to keep in mind when deciding which projects to focus on and which to dump (or leave for a rainy day).

This is why unproductive people are precisely those who complete most projects. They tend to be the ones who insist on completing projects before they can move on to the next thing. Since the final completion phases of a project typically take 80% of the total project time, it doesn’t leave a lot for much else – including other projects that may have come along in the meantime, and may have a much higher chance of success (that is, they may be one of the 1 in 5 that is in the top 20% of projects.

One more important point. While struggling with this final 20% of the project that is (inevitably) taking 80% of the time, quite possibly several smaller projects could have been opened and closed. Inevitably a couple of these will be pretty valuable. By allowing projects that just aren’t ready to be completed to languish, smaller projects can be efficiently opened and completed as they come along. Within these smaller projects, there will likely be a good many that are opened and dropped quickly, and still others that will be worth completing.

It’s a continual loop, with an ever-growing pile of incompleted projects (a pile that grows much faster than the completed project pile), that is nonetheless a highly productive use of time.

Or to put it another way, thinking this way is what allows productive people to work with a lot of ideas simultaneously, without fear of overextending themselves. Thinking that every project needs to be completed as soon as possible will have the opposite effect – even if they are able to boast that they have succeeded in completing virtually every one of the projects they’ve opened!

That’s the paradox in this whole way of thinking.

Does this apply to you?
I’m sure it does. I like to use the example of choosing a vacation, for illustrative purposes. Most people can name 5 places they would be happy to take a vacation in the next year (going to visit your parents doesn’t count). Now imagine that even though you knew you only had time to take 1 vacation, you nonetheless insisted on collecting information, confirming availability of hotels and flights, and arranging activites for all 5 vacation possibilities – only to choose the best one once you had a complete plan with confirmed activities and availability for all five. You’d have wasted an enormous amount of time!

The truth is you probably would do a quick skim of all 5 ideas, maybe investigate a few of the most important facts that would help you make your decision for some or all of them. Then you’d probably pick the best one, perhaps two, and get into the planning details (the part that takes 80% of the time).

Yet, this same sort of thinking doesn’t always seem to transfer to the work environment. Many (unproductive) people seem unable to apply the same reasoning to what they have in front of them. When they have a pile of projects sitting in the inbox, demanding attention, they all too often are unable to let the 4 unimportant ones go, and focus on the fifth one, which is the one likely to have a real impact. Instead they panic, and try to work on them all at once. Or worse, just take them in the order in which they appeared, without really prioritising based on their potential impact. Sure, one or two of the ‘rejects’ – the less important projects – may in time become high priority/high potential projects, at which point they should be re-prioritised. Until then, if necessary keep them alive with the minimal amount of work, or simply let them die!

What happens when your project is in the hands of other people?
I encountered this situation recently. A friend was moaning that he had actually cancelled a planned vacation because completing the project he was working on seemed impossible. The problem he faced was that the outcome depended on quite a number of other people taking action – a typical project scenario. Though he could put pressure on them, he was not in a position to force them to deliver.

In my opinion, his decision to cancel his vacation could not have been more foolish.

Even though he saw the project as being in the ‘closing’ stage, it really wasn’t. Anytime the fate of a project rests in the hands of others who need to make decisions and give input, it is not in the closing stage. In this case, though he could put pressure on the others involved, he couldn’t order them to prioritise this project. By definition, a project in this state is not at a closing stage. Only when all input has been received, and what is left is your own direct efforts to finalise the last pieces, can a project be deemed to be in the final closing phase.

More importantly, when the input from people just isn’t coming as quickly as you would like, take a moment to recall the 80/20 rule, because most likely for them it is a project that has fallen into the pile of the 80% of projects in which they are involved, that really are not so important at the moment.

Since my friend had no real way of knowing just where it was in the mind’s of others, or controlling this, the decision to cancel his vacation on this basis that the project was incomplete, but in the closing phase was foolish – and worse still, extremely unproductive. What better time to take a vacation then when a project is languishing somewhere in somebody else’s inbox?

In conclusion
Turning yourself into a productive person does involve thinking independently, and outside the box. Contrary to popular belief, it does not mean efficiently plowing through each and every project or item or work that finds its way into your inbox. It means keeping plenty of balls in the air, and focussing on the highest value ones, knowing that this ranking is subject to constant change. It may sound simple, but it’s not an easy lesson to absorb and understand if you have convinced yourself of another definition of productivity.

In part 1 of this series, I discussed the concept of getting an intuitive reading, and outlined my own views on the issue- having decided to book such a reading. Part 2 is set shortly after the reading took place. Enjoy!

If you haven’t read it already, you can read Part 1 here.

In many respects, this is a more difficult article to write then part 1 was, since finding a balance between reporting what I experienced, and making opinions with regards to this is quite tricky.

To begin with, let me note that the experience was highly positive, though certainly, not all of it was easy to swallow. And that’s putting it mildly.

So here’s what happened.

The other day, Anna Conlan, an New Zealand-based intuitive/Psychic, called me up via Skype and performed the intuitive reading that I had ordered – it was a past life + purpose reading.

What I provided her with was my full name, date and place of birth – and £175. I considered this a pretty fair price. Using that she contacted my Spirit Guides to gain access to what she termed “Akashic Records”. This is not a term that she invented – it is quite widely used. These are energetic records containing information about our soul – including all details regarding our current life and all past lives that we have had.

Cue the loud groan from the sceptics, right? I understand.

I should note, as I did in Part 1, that by simply googling my name along with the word ‘Copenhagen’, anyone can uncover a plethora of information about me, including many, many articles I have written on my blog and elsewhere – more than enough to offer up a convincing set of predictions based simply around this information. That said, I have absolutely no reason to believe this was what happened in this case.

So what did she say?
First of all, to be clear, Anna did not make any specific predictions – nor does she promise on her website that she will. This is not the nature of what she does, nor is it the nature of what I was expecting to receive from her.

Energy Center of Training
The reading began with an examination of my energy center of training, which is the center that I choose to train in – each soul chooses one to train in. Mine was the throat chakra, which suggested, among other things, an interest/aptitude for communication, teaching and channelling.

It means I will have a drive to express myself both in writing and verbally. It also means that I will be able to reach souls on the ‘other side’, if I choose to develop channelling abilities. This also makes me a natural born teacher, which can come out in both formal and informal ways – that is, I may not always be conscious that I am teaching different perspectives to others.

Additionally, there are a number of other roles I am fulfilling in this lifetime. In total, she has come across about of such roles since doing readings, with most people fulfilling 4-6 of them.

In my case, these included: relationship (role of supporter/nurturer, which is good for parenting – nice to hear since I have a little daughter!), inspiration (spiritual role inspiring others), learner, compassion (having a humanitarian/empathetic way of seeing the world), and perhaps most intriguingly, psychic/intuitive (ability to get under the surface of what goes on with other people).

Nothing negative there. Some would probably say something like ‘yes, but these are pretty general. They could apply to anyone.’.

I would respond by agreeing, and they probably do quite frequently. But what would you expect – something more specific, like that you were destined to become a truck driver?

So although unverifiable in a certain sense (no physical evidence possible), the comments seemed to ring true. Simply by looking inside myself there was ample evidence that every one of them seemed to have a core of truthfulness. And most importantly, it was all quite amusing to hear.

It would be interesting to hear the full list of abilities Anna has come across. Perhaps I’ll ask her about that in the future.

Soul group of origin
Anna indicated that most Akashic records contain a story of where the soul has come from. And it is here that we move into the area of what for most people – myself included – is really far-out stuff that is both fascinating, yet incredibly tough to chew and swallow.

In my case, I am apparently a ‘Star traveller soul’, which means that I have experienced incarnations in other star systems. Yes, you read that right. A consequence of being a star traveller is that your soul will become imbued with the energy of that place, and bring that energy to other lifetimes.

So here we go with the details.

Apparently, my first place of incarnation was the alpha centaurian star system, making me part of the alpha centaurian soul group. You can do some googling to find out about that star system – I checked into it, and learned that it is the closest known star system to our universe.

Traits of those of the alpha centauri group include:

• as this group are self-styled ‘guardians of the Earth plain’, they feel they have a protective soul mandate, which can come out in their work and personal relationships.
• typcially, very comfortable with mental processes and working out issues mentally – they are practical, technical problem solvers
• tend to conceptualise emotions
• natural loners
• often take a providing role
• good work ethic

Could I relate to this description? Well, not exactly, but there were points that seemed to ring true. I certainly didn’t feel like this was the kind of information that suddenly explained everything I had felt. I suspect I would have been told I was something else, given a different set of characteristics to go with this, and felt that a good number of them could well apply.

Of course, there are likely plenty of overlapping characteristics among these various soul groups, and it would hardly be surprising to learn that there are plenty of other influences on the soul beyond your so-called ‘first incarnation’.

So do believe what I was told? Well, I reserve judgement for now, and likely the foreseeable future.

Soul trainings in between lifetimes
These are like ‘non-physical’ careers in between lifetimes, I was told, and 3 came up for me.

Member of the 3rd order
First, Anna told me that I am a member of the 3rd order, which helps souls to leave their bodies upon death, and assists souls entering bodies when they are entering the world. This means I am skilled in transitions, and figuratively speaking, I could be good at guiding/orienting people in the physical, and guiding others in times of transition.

Those who are sensitive to this ability while earth-bound, are likely to come across or attract earth-bound spirits that think they can receive help to cross-over – so this is something I am likely to experience if I choose to develop my psychic abilities in the future.

‘Dream Master’
I am also a ‘dream master’, which means that I am very active in the astrals, including playing parts in other people’s dreams. This means that I may remember dreams that don’t really make any sense at all, and these dreams will not be something for me to learn from. Interestly, Anna noted that 2 out of every 3 dream master’s she encountered wake up exhausted (though I’m not sure that I can count myself among this number – but I’m certainly not a morning person, which could have some connection). The solution was to set the intention before going to sleep to not be very active in the astrals.

To be honest, I know very little about the astrals, though Anna informed me that there are 14 of them – 7 positive and 7 negative. I am curious to look further into this in the future.

‘Explorer Soul’
An explorer soul is somebody who has left their soul group at one time or another. Being an explorer soul fits with being an alpha centaurian, though not every star travellers are explorer souls. It means that there has been a particular role that I undertaken, though Anna did not say what this was (and I didn’t think to ask).

Characteristics of explorer souls that can manifest physically typically include a sense of curiousity and adventure, and they are often at the forefront of leanring and consciousness.

It also gives a sense of leadership, and being here to teach about blazing your own trail, and that there is no need to fear the unknown.

Periods of Earth history
Several periods of Earth history were pointed out as being of particular importance to my soul, including:

-ancient Egypt (which is not common, Anna informed me)
-Europe during the middle ages (my soul squeezed in 6 lifetimes, during this time)
-colonial North America

Spiritual traditions
Spiritual traditions from the past that I’ve participated in were:

-celtic druids
-studied jesus, mother mary and devine love
-Buddisim
-worship of divine mother/goddess (a sort of matriarchal paganism, connected with feminine energies in the self and others)

For me, what came from this point forward during the reading was the information that I was particularly interested in hearing.

Spirit Guides
There were 5 guides in my inner circle, which according to Anna are guides that are only working with me (I believe that I have read elsewhere that guides in your inner circle can be working for more than I soul at a time, but I could be mistaken remember this).

The spirit guides suggested that on a scale of 1-30, I was rated at 18/30 in terms of using conscious intentions to create what I want. This suggests I have a familiarity with the law of attraction (which is true), since those with no familiarity with this law tend to score extremely low – even 0.

The key to raising this number is to get clearer on what I want, visualisation, and to focus less on what I don’t want. Anna suggested she could recommend some books, which I am interested to hear about and perhaps get ahold of.

Primary life lessons
This was something that I was very interested to hear about, needless to say.

The primary life lesson I am learning during this lifetime is ‘spirituality’. That’s about as broad as it can get. Anna noted that it was one that would likely take 2-3 lifetimes to learn. It could be about finding a balance between the physical and spiritual.

On the other hand, the life lesson I’m teaching others is ‘caring and compassion’. It could be thought of as an energy that I bring to others.

Energy Field/clearing work
Anna looked for weak spots/damage in what she referred to as my ‘energy field’. I had no idea what to expect at this point.  She identified 2 chakras where she said I was losing energy: my heart chakra and throat chakra.

Anna noted that the heart chakra, being the centre of the relationship you have with yourself, is like a fountain that must be first filled up, and then what overflows is what you will bring to others. If the chakra is losing energy, then to some degree it is like running on empty, and depletes your sense of self-love. Once you identify the origin of the reasons for the energy loss from the heart chakra, and heal the mindset underneath, the chakra heals itself.

Anna noted that my Akashic records showed that at the age of 14, a mindset came up and a negative entity attached itself to my heart chakra. One definition of a negative entity (and there are others) is that it is an entity that is not attached specifically to any soul, and instead ‘attaches’ to other souls in order to draw energy.

While it could be that I’m working around this program, that is, ignoring it, it is nonetheless worth clearing.

Back when I was a Viking…
Another issue underlying the heart chakra was something that came up during a male incarnation, 27 lifetimes ago. A little while back, you could say…

Apparently, during this incarnation, I live in a Viking community, where I was the youngest brother in a large family of many brothers. I had no say in what went on in the small community, in spite of having some leadership skills, and had no authority in the family rank. I was supposed to obey, and felt humiliated as a result. So the problem was one of ‘obedience’ at the throat chakra, as I learned to not speak out on matters. Now, this is something that will have resolved itself many lifetimes since, so not something to worry about in this lifetime.

The scene she saw over and over took place in a building, sitting in a circle with the tribe and me having no say in anything. One day, I took authority and made a bad decision without consulting others – which had a bad effect on the community. Anna referred to this as ‘unjustified karma still open in my akashic record’.

Anna asked the guides to closes this karma, and gave me some homework to follow-up on this – which I will discuss later.

Amusingly, she also noted that one of my older brothers from this life came up as my daughter in this lifetime. Again, this was an idea I had heard previously, so the concept was not at all odd or disturbing to me – though it certainly is a curiousity.

So if all this wasn’t quite a lot to swallow, there was still more to come. This in the form of another heart chakra issue.

Etheric implant
Apparently, my Akashic records showed an ‘etheric implant’. And what is this. Well, a sort of ‘program of unworthiness’ – centred at the heart chakra. It functions as negative entities do, and can function in a subtle manner. She asked for this to be cleared, but also noted that it is only something that can be resolved now, in the 3rd dimension.

Vow of self-sacrifice
The final block was a vow of sacrifice (or self-sacrifice) from this lifetime 27 lifetimes ago. Such a sacrifice means having less to bring to others in terms of love, compassion, and so forth. Its frequency is still present in the heart chakra, and will result in a sense of guilt, among other things.

Anna asked for this vow to be negated, and again included this as part of the homework, I will shortly discuss.

Personal questions
Finally, to conclude the reading, I had a chance to ask questions that I wanted to receive input from my guides about.

My daughter in this lifetime
From previously reading about akashic records, I knew that it was a good idea to ask about your own children. So I asked for some information about my daughter, since I was curious.

Anna informed me that my daughter was bringing 3 different energies: light-heartedness (which could simply be part of being a baby, or it could also be something she continues as she grows older), boldness (this will continue as she gets olders, teaching people about confidence and boldness, including me), moderations (teaching people not to go to extremes, to take the middle path and to reign themselves in, when necessary)

On the other hand, I was teaching her about spirituality (could be indirectly) and loyalty.

I asked about my career, which was actually a big motivation behind booking this reading in the first place, as I’ve always found it challenging when deciding which factors I should weigh as most important when deciding in which direction to push my career. In particular, I’ve yet to find a satisfactory balance between contributing value to others, and satisfying my own desires and wishes with regards to work.

Career
I was quite surprised – and rather sceptical – to hear that my current career path was 87% aligned with my higher purpose. In fact, I had the thought that my spirit guides were perhaps taking the piss, just to provoke me.

Anna did flag up one career issue that I could clearly relate to, which was the expression of compassion/humanitarian aspect of my career, which was probably lacking. You’ll recall this was one of the 5 roles I am fulfilling in my lifetime, according to Anna. That is, the desire to be of greater service on a humanitarian level by tapping into my own compassion.

This 87% figure still boggles my mind, because I certainly don’t feel terribly aligned with my higher path at the moment.

Thinking about it subsequently, there are basically 3 ways that I can try to justify this high number:

Firstly, If I try to zoom out a bit, and include within the ‘scope’ of career projects that I am doing, even outside my full-time job (even if the pay I’m receiving for doing these is negligible, at best) then perhaps the number becomes slightly more understandable. Perhaps.

Secondly, if communication is an integral part, then I have definitely taken a number of clear career decisions and steps over the past 5 years to move myself firmly in that direction.

Finally, if career is defined more as a path and process, rather than as a measurement taken at a fixed point in time (which seems a reasonable assumption), then the development of certain skills can be crucial for achieving later goals, and in this way it could be possible that what I’m doing now does have a highly relevant purpose that I’m just not seeing clearly at the present time.

Homework
This is another area that requires something of a leap of faith – which always makes me sceptical.

The homework was essentially a sort of prayer, which I could adjust to suit my needs, which contained elements of the various issues that Anna had flagged up during the reading. It was essentially a friendly affirmation to my higher self, spirit guides and Spirit that I indeed wished to correct the issues I had specified, and requested that my intentions be carried out. I was to repeat this prayer for 21 days, with specific instructions stating that if I missed a day, I should start again as it takes this amount of time to make the adjustments requested, on a spiritual level.

Is it fair to charge money to perform such intuitive readings?
Absolutely! This was a valuable service, which took up a fair chunk of time. I would be deeply suspicious of anyone who was willing to perform such work for free (unless it was a close personal friend).

This is the first of a two-part article about meeting your spirit guides through an intuitive reading or psychic reading (or whatever your preferred terminology) performed by somebody else.

Have you ever considered having an intuitive reading, of one sort or another? The kind where you meet your spirit guides, indirectly, and receive input from them regarding your soul. Would you consider doing this?

If you had asked me a few years ago, I would have said ’NO!’ emphatically. In spite of the fact that I considered myself open to ideas regarding the spiritual realm that would not be clasified as ’mainstream’.

But the other day I booked just such a reading – for the first time ever. Earlier today, the idea came to me to write an article reflecting exactly this moment in time – between booking the reading, and the reading actually taking place, followed by a second part immediately after the reading, where I can reflect on the experience when it is freshest in my thoughts.

Making the decision to book a reading
You see, after years of considering and developing my beliefs regarding these ’spriitual’ and ’soul’ issues – including confronting many varying beliefs that required detailed scrutiny (and an acknowledgment that mainstream thinking was even farther of the mark than I had previously concluded) – one of the things that I had to acknowledge is that if I wasn’t willing to give such an intuitive reading a try (on the basis that there could be some validity in the information these could provide), then I might as well allow the entire edifice of my beliefs surrounding these issues and many others to crumble to pieces. In fact, I’d best (metaphorically) stick the dynamite charge in them myself to clear them out immediately. Then start again on a different track.

Not only this, I would also have reject nearly wholesale the entire premise of numerous individuals (amateur, professional and semi-professional) working directly and indirectly with many of these non-mainstream areas and ideas, whom I have come to deeply respect. And this struck me as highly improbable – though not impossible, of course, since there is the chance that these people are (whether wittingly or unwittingly) full of baloney.

And so I booked a reading with someone who does such intuitive readings.

It took me some time to select this person as the right one for me, as there are no shortage of people offering such readings that can be found on the web. Among other things, I learned that different intuitives or psychics have different specialities – some are better at certain things then others. From reading through her website and blog in some detail, including noting a not-at-all-easy to obtain testamonial that itself went a long way to convincing me this was a person to take seriously – I was able to ascertain that in the aspects that I considered crucial, her beliefs were in line with mine. Furthermore, it was possible to loosely correlate the claims she was making with statements from other sources that I had previously read (and deeply respect) on these sort of ’spiritual’ topics.

On top of all of this, she was very open about where she received her training, how many readings she had done and for how long. Thus, by visiting the website of this ’sould realignment’ course, I could decide for myself what I thought of the approach. In some respects it seemed quite rigid for my tastes, but in other respects it was much like an open and welcoming academic community. That appealed to me. In fact, I must admit that all of this did spark an interest in pursuing such training myself in the future. But one step at a time.

So a few words about this training, as a brief digression.

I have to admit that visiting this training website and sifting through some of the material there – including downloading the first two lessons of the soul realignment practioner course which my chosen intuitive reader had completed – presented me with quite a lot infomation that wasn’t always the easiest to swallow. Some of it looked like it best belonged in a Harry Potter movie, to be quite honest. Yet, a good deal of it, even the stuff that was hardest to swallow for me, nonetheless directly or indirectly correlated with what I had previously read (much to my surprise).

I’ve always believed that when looking into matters of spirituality (as most other areas of life) it is important not to get hung up on terminology, since everyone has their own, and instead try to examine how various viewpoints and claims correlate (or don’t!) with each other.

But seriously, why book such a reading? Isn’t there another way to get this information directly?
The answer is ’yes’, there is. Several ways, in fact. And I believe they are within reach of anybody and everybody, including myself.

Researching precisely this question, I have come to accept that there is no information that such a reading can fish out that myself (or anybody else looking for such information about themselves) couldn’t directly themselves on their own. Incidently, this point is one that most intuitives or psychics stress.

However, this is not to say that there are not people with specific ’skills’ or ’gifts’ that they have developed to a level of proficiency that, for others to achieve, would require a level of dedication and motivation that few are willing to offer.

So what information do I expect to receive?
That is naturally a fair question. The short answer is I am open to whatever information is presented. I expect there will be plenty to digest, spanning virtually all aspects of my soul and my (earthly) life.

However, I should also note what I do not expect to receive – and which would make me deeply skeptical should this be what I am told.

I do not expect to receive specific indications of the dates and details events that will happen in my life in the future. And I do not expect to receive instructions that I should do this or that. To receive such instructions would be entirely out of line with my core beliefs on these matters – that we are all subject to freewill, and all have the power to make the choices in our lives, which themselves create the events we experience. To suggest the exist fixed events is the same as saying we don’t have free will. And that, for me, just doesn’t add up.

However, I do expect to receive an indication of why I have chosen the path I have, and what decisions or considerations would help put me on the highest path, the one that will lead to fulfilling the higher purpose (that I have chosen for myself) before I was born. This is bound to cover both personal and professional issues, since in my view these two should essentially not be separated (although for my they still are to a highly unsatisfactory degree)

I also expect I will receive some information about various relationships in my life, including my girlfriend and daughter, and some input regarding how to improve these, and how they are correlated with my highest path.

Telling the world…Unsurprisingly, I have been hesitant to reveal the fact that I have booked this little session with anybody – even my girlfriend, who most certainly does not share the same views I do on these matters. But I will, and I take comfort in the fact that I am hardly the first person to feel this way, or find myself in such a situation. Taking a step into the unknown always takes a shot of courage.

How will it all turn out? That remains to be seen. But I am excited to have chosen this path for myself.